Professor Baranzo Biblios, Former Associate Librarian, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,
with Hedwig and Pigwidgeon, at the release party of "Order of the Phoenix,"
Honolulu, 21 June 2003 00:23.
Biography: Baranzo Yehuda "Gabby" Sprachzanim ZuZu Biblios, born Safed, Israel, 30 October 1955, to a mixed marriage of Yiddish/Swedish witch mother Dorothy (Hogwarts graduate - Hufflepuff) and Irish Catholic Muggle/Squib Walter (graduate of the School of Hard Knocks, Dublin). Walter's family has a rich ancestry of magickal folks - he was the brother of Arthur (Clown Prince of the Cosmos) and Endora, and Uncle of Samantha.
Baranzo showed signs of advanced linguistic ability in kindergarten as he arbitrated school-yard fights in 8 languages and 5 regional dialects. When he wasn't playing unusual musical instruments for his cat, he could be found hiding under heavy blankets with a flashlight, translating Aramaic texts into Swahili, while his brothers were watching truly awful Muggle TV-shows from the 1960's (My Three Sons, Occasional Wife). A very loquacious individual, Baranzo was never taken to Blarney castle during his frequent visits to Ireland, as it was well-understood by all who knew him that he already had "the gift" -- in great quantities. Indeed, his first memorable magical act at age 5 was talking the leg off a chair.
Baranzo was accepted at Hogwarts School of Wizardry in 1967, and was initially sorted into Ravenclaw. He later was one of only 10 individuals in the entire history of Hogwarts to be re-sorted...this time into Slytherin, where he lasted one year, before an unprecented third re-sort back to his original house of Ravenclaw. It should be noted here that only three students in the entire history of the school have endured three re-sorts, and lived to tell the tale - the others, along with dates of graduation and place of birth, are: Bodrian McPhooneiew (1425, Merghagh, Scotland); Arachne Webweaver, Earl's Court, London (1798); and Wilhelmina Hufflepuff (Highcliffe, New Forest 1921, grand-niece of Helga Hufflepuff, 10 times removed). Wizard scholars are still baffled by this extremely rare behavior of the Sorting Hat. After much study, discussion, and drinking of grog, a feeble attempt was made to retire the Hat, but was met with great resistance by the majority of Hogwarts faculty and alumni, who accepted the fact that "the Sorting Hat will do what the Sorting Hat will do..."
Prof. Biblios graduated with distinction from Hogwarts and continued on to Muggle universities in Washington, DC, and Berkeley, California to 1) find out more about his Celtic Muggle half, and 2) to appease the desire of his father to learn a decent trade. He returned to Hogwarts as associate librarian under Prof. Edirastmus Pookei, editor of several classic grimoires of magic, and noted bibliographer of the Library at Alexandria. All was well until...**she** was hired.
Let it be known, here and now, that Prof. Biblios had no part in the hiring of Madame Pince, a shrewish, slatternly prima-donna, who insisted on marching around the library in her too-tight bun, terminally-ugly sensible shoes and an unflattering couture of midi-skirts, shushing the very young witches and wizards who need our attention and assistance, especially since You-Know-Who is back. Madame Pince, with no words minced, is a major pain in the you-know-where, and is a manifestation of a truly bad librarian stereotype. The reason Madame Pince got the job in the first place is because she's the favorite niece of Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic. Yes, her position at Hogwarts was arranged by one of the oldest deals on earth - nepotism!
Professor Biblios left Hogwarts three years later to live in Honolulu, Hawaii. He now lives a relatively quiet life as an associate professor in a local community college library.
He is quite amused when stories about Hogwarts are published by Muggle presses.
Here he is with another Hogwarts associate, Madame Sharit, at the book release party for the Half Blood Prince in 2006. Madame really knows how to toss spells around - look at how she grips her wand! She sat in the first row all 7 years at the school in all of her courses, and wrote a book about how to be the best Hogwarts student possible...and it got lost in the library somewhere (Pince can't shelve to save her life). It's the book that Hermione eventually found that contains all of the School secrets, which explains Ms. Granger's academic prowess - if you read, good things come to you...don't forget that! Also, don't let that pretty smile fool you. Sharit knows her stuff and isn't afraid to show you that she knows her stuff.
Below is the "hairy eyeball" shot - one that both Biblios and Sharit used frequently at Hogwarts with the delinquent, the inattentive, and the evil. No House was immune from the looks of these two, but Gryffindor and Slytherin students made up the majority of students who had to endure it, as they more than the other two houses, ended up on the hot seat quite frequently.
Sharit and Biblios were well known at the school for their wand mastery--Sharit much more so. She taught advanced classes, and remembers fondly when Minerva McGonagall used to sit in and quietly smile and nod. This shot is a familiar pose of a larger portrait of the two of them just outside the Great Hall.
Lastly, their casting poses are required study of all students.
Baranzo is known to host various witches, wizards, squibs and Muggles traveling to the far-flung Hawaiian archipelago. He is known to write seasonal rituals to celebrate the beauty of the earth, which he has performed around an all-night roaring fire in the Waianae mounters. He also plays the accordion, kalimba, Hang, and birimbao (yes, he's still into weird instruments!) at various pagan gatherings nationwide. He is a closeted Morris Dancer. He has a devoted cat named Dewey, who loves the frequent concerts that Biblios plays just for him alone in their little house they share with Biblio's partner, an oceanographer and surfer, on a tucked away cul-de-sac on the ridge between Manoa and Kaimuki.
